This week has been one of those weeks were I am loving being a mama but still struggling being a pregnant mama! There have been those moments that have melted my heart (Example A) and those that make me want to run away and hide (Example B). The best part of this week so far was my 15 week prenatal check up, where I got to hear our little one’s heartbeat! Until you feel that little one moving in there, sometimes it’s hard not to worry constantly. Although on that note, I swear I felt a teeny, tiny little kick this morning. A bit early to feel movement but then again I’ve read that 2nd time mamas feel movement sooner and that if you are “thin” you might notice it sooner (I’m quickly moving out of the “tall & thin” category and into the “big pregnant lady” category…).Okay, so Mama Moments for this week:
Example A: Jack is just over a year old and finally suffering from a bit of separation anxiety when we leave him. Which as a working mama (which by design means I have to leave him 5 days a week no matter what) is really tough. According to our babycenter updates, we were supposed to expect this phase around 9 months, but when he didn’t make a peep every day when we dropped him off (he normally smiles and waves, the kid is ADORABLE) I thought we just lucked out with our amazing, perfect, wonderful, happy baby boy. But the past few weeks we’ve seen that he really does love us best! And of course he does. And of course I want him to. He is my whole world so I can’t imagine what it would feel like if he never missed me, or didn’t prefer me most out of everyone on this planet. My mama heart would break. So I try to remember that it is a blessing that Jack and I have such a wonderful, healthy attachment even when it hurts my heart that he is sad when I walk out the door in the morning. But this week, when I got home from work, Jack did the sweetest thing. He always waves his hands and kicks his legs in baby excitement (oh so cute!!!) but on one day in particular, he was so excited to see me that he jumped into my arms….and then pressed his forehead to my forehead. And just left it there. Like he just wanted to be near his mama and touch me. IT WAS SO SWEET! I die just thinking about it. He is the most wonderful baby and we are so blessed to have him.
Example B: At work, I spilled water on my fancy ergonomic keyboard. When I say fancy, I mean fancy. I love this keyboard and most of my coworkers make fun of me for how crazy it is/looks. When I spilled on it, I didn’t think much about it until the keys started sticking together and I could no longer email. I didn’t want to call our Help Desk about such a small issue, so I emailed someone over in Desktop Services to see if she could help. She came over to pick up my keyboard and try to dry it out/fix it…but you should have seen the look on her face when she saw my desk. Because I had an open cup of iced green tea, a huge water bottle, cheese and crackers, and a peach…and I was consuming pretty much all of this at once. So it was pretty clear to her that this whole random “accident” was going to happen one way or another because of my work habits! And my work habits as a pregnant mama include eating CONSTANTLY. I mean my snacks lately are numbering 5-7 a day instead of the usual 1-2. This is combined with a huge breakfast, lunch and dinner. Once I eat one thing, I decide that I’m also really hungry for something else, so I just keep going. I’m totally fine with this because I gained a healthy amount of weight with Jack and lost it very quickly, and I also think that a restrictive diet during pregnancy (hellooooo people, I already gave up my nightly glass of wine for 9 months!!!) is not conducive to a healthy emotional state. So anyway, back to this example. The technician came back by my desk to update me three times. EACH TIME I WAS EATING/DRINKING SOMETHING NEW. It was so awkward. Did it stop me? No, because I was craving those sour cream and cheddar ruffle potato chips at 9:30 am, and I was certainly not going to deny myself (reference above comment regarding my weight gain during pregnancy/healthy emotions). Such is life as a pregnant working mama. Everyone you work with can see when you are snacking all day!
Okay, so quick update on Baby Number 2: Baby (well, actually, Mama) is measuring right on track, at 15 weeks, and we heard a nice strong heartbeat, which is just music to my ears. Except for the fact that it always takes me a minute to recognize that that little swoosh swoosh swoosh sound is the real deal! I’m always waiting…holding my breath…to hear my little one’s heartbeat, and then it sinks in that the sound I am hearing is the heartbeat! Wish I had a new picture to post but we won’t see any new ultrasound pictures until 20 weeks, so we’ll all have to wait. :)