Today on my lunch break at work, I am having a different kind of lunch dessert. This one is for the gestational diabetes test, and this super sugary 6 oz. drink makes me not enjoy "something sweet" at lunchtime...at all. YUCK! I'm a little late with this test since I was 28 weeks (3rd trimester, baby!) yesterday so I really needed to come in and get it done. I've been dreading it since my first prenatal appointment. I hate all of the tests, pokes, prods, and doctor's appointments that come with having a baby. This is not to say I am one of those (amazing?) women who desire a mid-wife assisted home birth...because I'm not. I like that this little one will be born in a state-of-the-art hospital (with the assistance of a nurse midwife & OB as needed) because for me personally, there is a lot of comfort in being surrounded by experts & all of the medical advances one could need. My labor with Jack wasn't easy, but the nurses & nurse midwife who supported us were wonderful, and I was all too happy when I saw the anesthesiologist walk through the door to administer my epidural (after 10 hours of painful labor before I got admitted!). Anyway, I digress. As I sit here in the lab at the same hospital, waiting for this fabulous glucose drink to do it's job, counting down the minutes until I can go get my blood drawn (and head on home!) I can't believe that we are here again!
We feel so blessed to have this little baby growing inside of me. Baby #2 has been kicking and punching up a storm lately, at all hours of the day and night, and it amazes me (even though this isn't my first rodeo). It is just unbelievable that there is a tiny person inside of my body, depending on me for life! I am so excited to meet this little one but lately I am just hoping and praying that we do not have an early arrival. Not so much because I want to finish up projects at work, or cherish my time with Jack (as an "only child" for a few more months), or even because I am trying to squeeze in date time with the husband (although we are going on a long overdue dinner & movie date tonight!). Mostly I want this little one to STAY PUT for the next 12 weeks because I want to make sure that everything is fully formed and ready to go before Baby #2 comes out.
My first trimester & second trimester I was constantly anxious that something would go wrong and we would lose this little one. Miscarriage seems to be so common in my circle of family, friends & acquaintances, and it's a terrible burden because there is just so little you can do to prevent it. Now that I am in my third trimester I am so grateful that we've made it this far, because I know this little one (with lots of prayers & medical aid) could survive outside the womb....but I still don't want Baby #2 to arrive before that 40 week mark. Jack was such a healthy boy, weighing in at 7 lbs. 12 oz., but still felt so small. I was terrified to hold him and change him and feed him, because it just seemed like his tiny little body could so easily be hurt. The idea of other people holding him didn't comfort me at all either. Anytime someone had him in their arms the thoughts going through my head were, "Don't drop my baby!!! I worked very hard to get him here and he's the most precious thing I have!!! Can you just sit there and not move and maybe just breathe really softly, so you don't disturb his sweet, precious little body? Thanks."
It's crazy to think that in about 12 weeks we are going to be blessed with another teeny, tiny baby in our arms. Or maybe, a big, fat 10 lb. baby (I'd like to think so since I've gained so much weight...I mean it sure would be easier if it really was just "all baby!" as people kindly say sometimes.)